Wednesday, April 19, 2006 

Wednesday I welcome you.

I deleted all the messengers off my computer this morning; I just don’t care to chat with anyone anymore. I had one really good friend I thought and I kept this one messenger just for her and I to chat. Well last time I chatted with her, she went off telling me her hubby cheating and all about the kids and on and on , me sitting here reading and believing and about to boohoo for her when she goes APRIL FOOLS; we really not getting divorced or in therapy , none of it was true.

I was shocked:

I won’t be gullible like that again; really friends on this computer are face less with no feelings. So I don’t want to chat with anyone and deleted them messengers. Well except that msn one I will have to do a little more to kill it, but I will later today.

Friends are non-existent. The only friend I have is my doggie.

Have you seen the PINK video ‘Stupid Girls’? It is kool I will have to get that CD. ONM, I have it. lol But the video is cool.

There it is the perfect song:

Daniel Powter ‘Bad Day’ -à Kool Video also. You know this is the song they play for the off voted American Idol’s?

Ok off for a Wednesday.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 

... Husband ...

I need someone to tell me if this normal or not because I am not sure. My husband is jealous of our child. I mean like for example the kid and I sat up till 11p.m Friday night playing games on the computer having fun. The next morning when we got up my husband was acting oddly and at first I didn’t know what was wrong with him and asked is everything ok? He said yes but was still acting odd. Later on he mentions us being up all night on the computer. Right then it hit me in the head like a brick. He was upset because we stayed up and played games.

It is crazy around here sometimes, well all the time really but most of the time I suppress all of it and sometimes I can’t take it all in any more and I blow. My child is jealous of time I spend with hubby and hubby is time I spend with child.

We went out-of-town for Easter this weekend. I can’t tell you how many times my husband spoke of leaving her behind with someone and coming alone. I can’t count the times he refers to sex. Gheez it is from the moment he wakes up and all freaking day. It is so annoying. YES I give to him regularly. I give to him a lot more than I use to. And I have proof, I write it in my day planner when we do, because he always refers to its been DAYS since he’s had it and needs it soon or he will be ill.

This is a day in my life.

I come home from school or work / which ever and hang with kid for a bit before hubby gets home from work and when he does she gets all puffed up and runs off to her room not wanting to be around him because of he doesn’t notice her, only me. I try to talk to him about this and he gets defensive about it and it is dropped. I have cried and yelled but he is who he is.

Neither my dad, or my brother like him, so I can never get there manly advice. I am love him dearly, but he gets on my nerves at times. Like this morning going on and o n about sex and spoke of my couter and I harshly looked at him and said don’t say that in from of the kid and he was like ‘kid can’t hear me’.

Gheez, it is why I suppress it. I just get full after a while and it has to come out somewhere, so that is another reason I need this therapy.

… Session time over …